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VOL. 132 | NO. 20 | Friday, January 27, 2017

Dan Conaway

Dan Conaway

New Year, New Game


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INSPIRING WORDS FOR OUR NEW TEAM. “Sometimes they write what I say, not what I mean.” – former Cardinal, Dodger and major league MVP Pedro Guerrero, who obviously could have been president.

About this time last year, I offered a few fresh sports quotes to prepare us for the onslaught of stale sports metaphors in an election year. Well, the Super Bowl is on us, we’ve just kicked off a new administration, and since most of what our new president says is suitable for locker rooms, it’s only appropriate to look to sports again for meaning.

For instance, how is repealing the ACA no matter what like winning the Super Bowl? Well, like this: Upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the Redskins say, “I’d run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,” Matt Millen of the Raiders said, “To win, I’d run over Joe’s mom, too.”

Or, if we think about a new finger on the button, Frank Gifford might come to mind: “Pro football is like nuclear warfare. There are no winners, only survivors.”

Or, say, on climate change, science, history and the like, former All-Star outfielder, Carl Everett offers the definitive word: “The Bible never says anything about dinosaurs. You can’t say there were dinosaurs when you never saw them. Someone actually saw Adam and Eve. No one ever saw a Tyrannosaurus Rex.”

Or, on the value of education and intellectual pursuit, we can turn to Texas A&M basketball coach Shelby Metcalf’s reaction to a player’s grades of four F’s and one D: “Son, looks to me like you’re spending too much time on one subject.”

And when it comes to what happened in the election or what’s about to happen in Congress, much in sports reminds us of the depth of social media and the endless talking-head analysis in the 24/7 news cycle.

“Anytime Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points, they almost always win.” – NBA analyst Doug Collins

“We must have had 99 percent of the match, it was the other 3 percent that cost us.” – Dutch footballer Ruud Gullit

“Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something.” – Dennis Rodman

“Therapy can be a good thing; it can be therapeutic.” – Alex Rodriguez

“As I remember it, the bases were loaded.” – Garry Maddox, when asked how he hit a grand slam.

Then, considering our new standards, inspiration by example is much easier to come by, and achievement is much easier to explain.

“I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.” – George Rogers

“I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.” – Greg Norman

“That’s so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes.” – Chicago Blackhawk Stu Grimson, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker.

I’m a Memphian, and it’s time to double-knot our shoes and tape up our socks – gonna be a helluva game.

Dan Conaway, a communication strategist and author of “I’m a Memphian,” can be reached at dan@wakesomebodyup.com.

PROPERTY SALES 61 61 6,453
MORTGAGES 46 46 4,081
BUILDING PERMITS 113 113 15,474
BANKRUPTCIES 19 19 3,289