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Editorial Results (free)

1. Roger and Me -

Bummer! I drove in from Tulsa a while ago. No big deal that my teammates and I suffered an ignominious defeat on the golf course this morning. No big deal that I opted to not listen to the football game on the radio during the drive home, which might have made the drive seem briefer.

2. When Siri Speaks -

My smartphone was, of course, in my pocket. Apparently, though, I’d unknowingly pressed the button that activates it. Through my judicial robe and the fabric of my trousers. The lawyer in front of me wound up his remarks. There was a longer-than-normal pause.

3. He Said, She Said, Part 2 -

Finishing what I started last week. More “humorous” quotes. Which I came up with for use in a “new” puzzle-game. And which the editors rejected. That I ultimately came up with 30 deemed acceptable now seems miraculous.

4. Please, Please Belize! Part 2 -

In last week’s column, I told how a guy from another city and state who spends his winters in Belize wound up with a dead ringer for my phone number on a cell phone he bought in that country. Starting with Belize’s country code, 501, being identical to Arkansas’ 501 area code and continuing through each and every one of the last seven digits, “George’s” cell number is identical to my home land line.

5. Modern Crossword Humor -

The past two weeks I’ve highlighted some stuff in New York Times crossword history that served to give crosswords a bad name. That is, obscure, nobody’s-ever-heard-of-‘em words and their clumsy, who-gives-a-darn clues. My focus was exclusively on the Farrar and Maleska Eras, so called for the Times’ first and third puzzle editors.

6. By Any Other Name … -

A couple of weeks ago, I devoted almost an entire column to one item of viewer mail. No one complained, so I might as well do it again. Less than a week after hearing from Carole Hanna of Memphis, I heard from Daphine Craig:

7. MED Fdtn. Names Brandenburg Director of Development -

Joe Brandenburg has joined The MED Foundation as director of development.

Hometown: Connersville, Ind.

Education: B.A., mass communications, Western Kentucky University; master’s in public administration, University of Tennessee at Chattanooga.

8. Baseball Players: Chew on This -

“Senators urge baseball players to chew on smokeless tobacco ban,” the headline read “Chew.” Get it? I mean don’t get it. Don’t use tobacco, please. Smokeless or the other kind. From a health perspective, it’s not worth it.

9. Good English, Plus ‘Who am I?’ -

True story. It happened in front of me.

The defendant, Ms. Martinez, who had recently moved to the United States from Argentina, was charged with failure to yield in connection with a motor vehicle accident.

10. ‘Wicked’ Turns Oz, The Orpheum Upside Down With Surprises -

Dorothy’s famous line from “The Wizard of Oz” might be “There’s no place like home.” But in “Wicked,” the smash Broadway musical that turns perceptions of Oz and its inhabitants upside-down, that phrase is mouthed by the Wicked Witch of the West.

11. Local Businesses Dig For Diamonds at 2006 Showcase -

Aug. 14

SPIRCO and Metal Building Products host the AGAPE Child and Family Services annual Kids Classic Golf Tournament at noon. In addition to the tournament, golfers and their families can participate in a junior golf clinic, games, a silent auction and a cooking demonstration. Sponsorships start at $1,600 for teams of four. Contact Jason Burgess at 323-3600 or jason.burgess@agapemeanslove.org.